Subverse Aphrodesia

Today, for example we have this yahoo "quickie" --

Even if this crap really is in the stars, we don't want to read it.
So maybe I have felt like a hostage lately. Maybe my life has felt more like survival than anything in the vicinity of fun. I don't need a reminder. I'm living it. Just tell me that it's over .

I thought the whole idea was to make us feel good. To give feed us that false sense of optimism and hope. A fix that we'll keep turning to our horoscope for, in order to feel like we can face the day.

For those that don't believe that they destiny is mapped out in the distant universe ... pulling them and pushing them with various forces of celestial gravity, a horoscope is little more than entertainment.

So tell me then, Rob Brezsny, what is so entertaining about authorizing we Aries of the world to act like" the love child of comedians Chris Rock and Margaret Cho?"
That's just yucky.

"Expose hypocrisy," he says. "Lay yourself bare," he proposes. "Shock people"! "Risk being annoying"! "Be edgy and healing, disruptive and inspiring, half-crazy and profoundly real"?????????
Are you kidding me?
I've been doing these things and guess what? They ain't working, honey. Stop giving me dead end advice and start stroking my ego.

Don't tell me about all the sacrifices I'm going to have to make. And how it's going to be tough today but will all pay off in the long run.
I don't think I believe in the long run anymore.

Give me a starlight embrace. Tell me it's going to be OK. Stroke my cheek and tell me what a good girl I've been. How proud you are of me for not taking the low road and that I've been doing a good job at staying afloat in the quicksand.

Surely that's not too much to ask of someone who can read the heavens.